I’ve decided to speak about what happened to me. I’ve never really told anyone because I never really considered what happened to me as rape, and I feel like compared to others’ stories, it’s not something others would really understand. Anyway, here it goes. I was with a guy I had been seeing for a little while, and we had already been having sex during this dating period. One night we were having sex, but he decided on his own that he was going to have anal sex with me. I had never done that before with anyone. He didn’t hold me down or grab me; he was strangely gentle, but I wanted none of it. I was in a lot of pain, and told him to stop. He just quietly said, “shhh,” and told me to relax. I kept telling him that I wasn’t going to relax and that he needed to stop doing what he was doing. He finally did stop. The whole thing only lasted about two minutes, but it was a horrible. Despite what he did, and my obvious rejection of his actions, I still allowed him to stay in my apartment, and continued having vaginal intercourse. At the time, I didn’t even really think anything of it. However, the next day I felt awful, both physically and mentally. I couldn’t believe that I allowed him to stay with me even after taking advantage of his position. Despite all of my rational thoughts, I’d still tell myself that he didn’t actually rape me because we were already having sex. That’s why I want to share my little story. I was raped, and just because it was with someone I was dating, and I was already having sex with him, doesn’t mean that him having unwanted anal sex with me wasn’t rape.