Living in Rape Culture

Entry by Taliena

On June 25th 2008, ten days after my 16th birthday, my older sister came to town to see me since she missed my actually birthday. I had two mixed drinks that I made myself, my sister had a few more, she insisted we went on a walk while it was still daylight. I agreed. We stopped at the high school I attended at the time, since it was summer break we figured no one would be out in the field. As it got dark, I was trying to get to finally just got home. After a while it was pretty much completely dark outside, about that time, two guys walked up behind us, it was dark enough I could really see anybody’s face. There were no street lights in sight. They started talking, and my sister wondered off with one of them, I felt really uncomfortable, and just wanted to leave. I told the guy that was trying to talk to me that I wasn’t interested in hanging out I was just trying to go home, I started to walk away and he grabbed me. I got really scared and started panicking, yelling for my sister but, she wasn’t answering me. About that time this guy threw me to the ground, and attempted to rip my pants down so I hit him and got a few feet away, before he pulled me up by my hair, flung me around, hit me and said this is going to happen weather or not you like it. I fought as hard as I possibly could to get away but, he was stronger. Way stronger. He continued on through my struggle and raped me. When he was done, I couldn’t move, my body wouldn’t let me. As I just laid there sobbing, I heard him talking to the other guy, telling him it was his turn if he wanted, that he already took care of the hard part. When I finally brought myself to lift my head. They were gone. My bag was gone, my phone was gone, they took everything. It took everything I had to get up and find my sister, she was passed out and looked to be unharmed. She was so drunk, that I carried her the whole 12 blocks back home. My mom got home from work and I was curled in a ball freaking out, I finally brought myself to tell her what happened and she called the police. From the beginning the cops didn’t seem like they believed me, even though I had grass stains and blood and cuts all over me. They asked me ridiculous questions like “are you just saying you we’re raped because you don’t want your parents to know your having sex” and saying things like “if you’re lying about being raped you can tell us you won’t get into trouble.” I couldn’t believe that the police would even ask me things like that after something so horrible just happened, and after they saw me all beat up. A few weeks went by and they had nothing, no leads on who it was. The detective on my case had the nerve to come to my house while my mom was gone, and tell me that my own mother told him she thought I was lying. The only thing I could was slam the door in his face. I confronted my mom and I believe her when she said she didn’t say anything of the sort. My case was closed and I never got justice because the cops, and detectives thought I was lying, and because I don’t know who did it. I started school 2 months later.. I would have flash backs, and would break down and freak out because that was the place it happened at. They wouldn’t let me transfer high schools, so I felt like I had no other option I dropped out. I felt like no one besides my family was on my side because I had 2 drinks before it happened. I refused counseling because I was made felt like it was my fault, and that everyone would think it was my fault. I’m now 20 years old, And to this day I still don’t have justice for what happened, but I have come to learn that it was NOT my fault. I know that now, and to me that’s justice in itself.

A Letter to Her Stalker Ex


 A letter by Anonymous to an abusive ex-partner who continues to harass her after their relationship has ended.

Dear Mohammad Mubashir Hussain,

Your messed up head needs to STOP HARASSING ME through YOUR MESSED UP BAND MEMBERS aka ZAIB’s Gang.

I have confronted them and they told me that Mubashir told this all this and HE wanted me to be all broken down and bad.. And dont even go around and try to deny it cos I have written testimony from 3 different people… like this is ABSOLUTELY FUCKED UP… so I am asking you TO STOP THIS NONSENSE.

I have had enough of hacked accounts, lousy and nasty messages and bullshit sent around to my friends + further harassment towards them.

If you dont shut this whole thing down, I will take them to YOUR sister and YOUR dad… and I will report you to Interpol for criminal harassment. I know the reporting procedure doesnt works in Pakistan, but it works in Europe and North America and if needed be I will write to the Dean of Iqra University – Karachi (Defence Campus)… I am not just threatening, I have friends in places who know how to get shit done.

So I am telling you…TO STOP THIS… its been FUCKING 2 YRS… Leave me alone… you hated me, you broke things off with me.. end of story.. DONT TURN THIS INTO SELF-SATISFACTORY FUCKED UP HEROIC DREAM OF YOURS…WHERE YOU GET TO FEEL MANLY.. COS YOU ARE A FUCKING COWARD

I dont care how YOU treated all of you ex-gfs in the past but THIS SHIT DOESN’T FLIES WITH ME. NO MAN HAS EVER OR WILL EVER DO HARASS ME and send me RAPE THREATS… HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?

I am done with this crap. I have been patient and quiet for 2 yrs cos I didnt have direct evidence and now I do…… SO FUCKING DROP IT.. IF YOU HAD ISSUES, YOU SHOULD HAD BEEN MAN ENOUGH TO SPEAK WITH ME RATHER THAN SENDING 5 DRUGGIES AFTER ME.

I have never ever been disrespectful to my partner.. but you have forced me to come to this

oh AND GUESS WHAT, YOUR PLAN to make me feel all broken down failed miserably… see I am a renowned author and activist now…. so anyone here who is at the bottom of the FOOD CHAIN, ITS YOU

GROW THE FUCK UP & DEAL With UR INSECURITY ISSUES… rather than being manipulative and playing mind games with people…. see a psychatrist or go to a rehab

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE, AND DONT STALK ME, HARASS ME EVER FUCKING AGAIN, otherwise you will be responsible for the consequences.



For those who have read it, do drop this guy a line… tell him what closeted rapists & sexual harassers really deserve… or better show him some love cos being high and manipulating people’s lives doesn’t do shit. He is sick, he needs help and maybe some moral support too