Testimony by Patriarchy Survivor
My partner and I had read that it was OK to have sex while I’m pregnant, so we did. And on Thursday, when I came home from work, John and I started engaging in some “amorous activities” and we were rudely interrupted by the sudden presence of significant vaginal bleeding. It looked like I was on my period, but… I’m pregnant, so how can that be? Our eyes met and expressed the same fear behind them, “miscarriage?” While I went to clean myself off, John started internet-researching what the implications of bleeding might be. We of course got conflicting answers online, so we decided to play it safe and go to the E.R. We were there for a total of 6 hours, and I was definitely reminded the entire time of how lucky I am to live in California while being pregnant. The doctor didn’t assume that my pregnancy was good news, he didn’t assume that John and I were married, and he made it very clear that MY health was the primary concern, and labeled himself as my “advocate.” It was the complete antithesis of how many pregnant women are treated in less progressive areas (*cough* red states *cough*). When I went in for my sonogram, it was made very clear to me that the transvaginal ultrasound was OPTIONAL and I was instructed to insert the device into my vagina MYSELF, and this insured the least amount of pain/discomfort. The ultrasound technician turned the monitor towards me, and I got my first look of the fetus’s heartbeat. I was so overwhelmed with relief that my future baby was still alive, and almost cried when I saw the heart beating for the first time. It turned out that the bleeding I was experiencing was completely normal, and that our sexual intercourse was just too rough/traumatic for my first trimester body. I was also given some kind of shot in the bum, because apparently my blood type is not baby-friendly. So, it was good that we went to the E.R., and it’s good that we had the tests done to be safe, because at only 6 weeks pregnant, there is a high risk of miscarriage.
This was a pregnancy that was unplanned but completely wanted. My partner and I have been together almost 4 years and were planning to eventually have children together. We are both 100% pro-choice, and grateful that keeping the pregnancy was not forced on me. Our baby is lucky, because (s)he will know that I actually wanted to be his/her mother.